It was as cold as a mother trucker...

Last year I managed to hobble my way through a half marathon with little training…

Picture this, it’s -11 outside at 0800 on a Saturday morning in the dead of winter.  “Perfect race weather” I think to myself as I’m hopping into the car to drive a couple hours to Seeley Lake, the start of the 32^nd Annual Snow Joke Half Marathon.  As I sipped my Starbucks and reflected on the lack of training and pre-race dinner of pizza and an adult beverage the night before, I prayed a silent prayer to the race gods in hopes they would have porta-potties strategically located at mile markers 6 and 9.

We arrive at the Seeley Lake High School and am reassured I am not the only crazy person running in these arctic conditions.  It turns out there are several of us--maybe 150 entrants.  I stand in line for my race number and the golden trophy and the reason I am here…my race shirt.  Minutes before the 11:00 start time, we all head out into the now balmy -4 temperatures outside.  Waiting patiently for about 15 minutes, we listen as the race director covers the course and provides disclaimers like “if you get lost just follow the runner in front of you wearing the shirt with the course map on it” and “there are no porta-potties-but several trees”.  Great.  Panicking because I’ve brought no toilet paper, I begin preparing myself for the likelihood of arriving at the end of the race with one or no gloves that are now keeping my hands toasty and free from frostbite.  The shotgun sounded and we were off like a herd of frozen turtles.        

The race, all in all, went pretty well.  I ran the entire thing and ran it painfully slow, but I finished.  My dad was kind enough to lend me his skeleton faced mask he uses when riding his Harley and I dressed in so many layers that had I fallen on the road of snow-packed ice, I would have bounced back up in an upright position.  I stayed warm and ended up at the finish line with both of my gloves, thus earning the right to wear my golden trophy, my t-shirt.  With signage along the way like “That isn’t sweat!  That is your fat cells crying” at mile 8, “Pain Ahead” at mile 10, and “Poop if ya gotta” at mile marker 11 to inspire me, how could I NOT love a race like this no matter how cold it is outside?!?!

I didn’t train for this like I should have.  In fact, I can’t say I really trained.  At all.  In my crazy life of kids and school last year I was able to squeeze in a 7-miler and a 10-miler for long runs…and did a handful of smaller jaunts if I had 20 or 30 minutes to spare throughout the weeks.  I do not recommend doing this.  While I was able to finish the race I couldn’t walk for a week after.  I cried every time I had to go from sitting to standing/standing to sitting position.  I learned my lesson.  This year, my brother and I are training-actually training-for the same race.  If you are interested, it is always the last Saturday in February.  Seeley Lake, Montana.  Starts at 11.  You need to register early though if you want a cool race shirt.  Check out my bio for the link!  Snow Joke Half Marathon…here we come!