Where did "Peg" Come From?

After finishing the Sedona Marathon in 2009, I started to have some hip problems.  Like a good nurse I put off going to the doctor for months chalking it up to old age.  Finally, when every run brought about severe pain causing me to gimp about...I caved like a cheap card table and went in.  After an MRI and several x-rays later I was diagnosed with piriformis syndrome (http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/87545-overview) among other abnormalities.  Below is an e-mail exchange between my sister and myself and the experiences surrounding my physical situation.  The term "Peg Leg" is a personal joke between us...and it stuck.  Enjoy...

Dearest Sister of Mine,

I have just experienced my first session of physical therapy.

Along with all my other imperfections…my left leg is longer than my right.  The right side of my pelvis is also tilted outward after calving out four children.  Really…I can blame my children for ravishing my body and inability to run at this time.  I have noticeable weakness and minimal flexibility on the Right.  Apparently my left side and my back have compensated so well after being ‘physically driven into the ground’ that I have a rounder buttock on my left side than I do my right.  I believe her words were… "your right side is noticeably more flat than you left."

How nice for me.

I could try to come up with more witty things to say…but…I’m a peg leg, Tyra.  No wonder I struggle to walk upright and am severely uncoordinated.

I just need a lisp.

Some drool coming out of my mouth.

I’ve already decided to stop showering and am going to start soiling myself.  Maybe I’ll get manicures and squawk like a chicken. 

I am declining anything to do with hygiene.  How could I have been so blind?  How could children do this to me?

Your loving sister,

Peg

RESPONSE FROM LOVING, SUPPORTIVE SISTER BELOW:

Peg,

Just because you have some slight physical imperfections does not call for a total hygiene halt. As your sister, it is my duty that I openly tell you drooling, soiling yourself, and squawking like a chicken (under most circumstances) is not socially appropriate.  Furthermore, not showering will result in social ostracism. 

You are a beautiful woman with a hot ass.  This is coming from a woman who has enough back bacon, tenderloins, and lamb chops (probably several ham steaks) to aid third world countries.  Your flaws are so minor they effect only the psychological (physical - only to the point of not being able to run) aspect of your life.  You knowing that you are a peg leg may affect your self confidence, but I can assure you that no one can tell you are a peg leg with the naked eye...unless you have to have special shoes with a lifter built on to the sole.  You don't do you?  Have to have a special shoe?  I may have to reword the pep talk if that is the case......

Special shoes are not a big deal.  So what if they are not fashionable and scream "I have a peg leg!"  You have gotten through worse than special shoes.  We can dress them up with some sparkly shoe strings, or I can paint lady bugs on them for you.  You will love them when I am done!  AND, who looks at a nurse's shoes anyway?  Everyone who is anyone knows to avoid looking at nurse shoes (generally they are hideous and manly, I am just saying).  In public you can wear long flair pants that cover them.  There. Special shoe problem solved.

Now, back to making you feel better.  I say you blame dad for your peg leg.  Mom gets my furryness and inability to reproduce, along with some of the back bacon.  We need to spread the love...and guilt.  Dad's freaky middle toe is responsible for this entire mess.  His ridiculously thick, fast growing fingernails could also be a factor.  Center all your rage and self confidence issues on this freaky middle toe of Dad’s.  Just let it go...hate the toe and not yourself.

Truly, I think you have a nice ass and have noticed no flatness on either side. 

Tyra